10 things not to say to a writer: the answers


The original post of 10 worst things to say to a writer is here.

Elizabeth over at Elizabeth’s Ramblings reblogged this with her own answers.   Writers are liars.

I finally got around to doing my own answers and here they are:      ENJOY!

 

1.  So, you’re still writing your little Poetry book? 

You sez whaat?

 

Yes, the voices in my head aren’t finished yet.

 

2.  Must be nice not having a real job. 

 

They don’t allow people who hear voices to have real jobs.  I have to spend all my time listening to the voices.

 

3.  Writing doesn’t sound too difficult.

 

Writing sounds like ‘click, click, click, click,….”

 

OR – Why don’t you go write something then.  I’d be more than happy to pass it on to my publisher (the voices).

 

4.  I always thought I’d write a book after I retire, once I have some time to kill.

 

The voices say I have time to kill right now.  Weird laugh.

 

5.  Wait a second, creative writing degrees are a real thing?

 

The voices say yes.  They said to ask you if you’re jealous you’re not creative enough to have one.

 

6.  Have you been published yet?

 

Yeah, I signed a pact with ‘you know who’, and told him I’d bring some souls to him if he got me a contract.   What are you doing right now?

 

7.  Can I be a character in one of your stories?

 

Well, you are certainly a character, I think we can squeeze you into our next book.  {The voices giggle, “yeah, squeeeeeeze you.”}

 

8.  So I have this great idea I think you should be using in your book . . . .

 

Maybe you better save that idea in case you ever get killed, I mean get time to kill and write that book you think is so easy to write.

 

9.  Aren’t writers just professional liars?  They tell stories for a living, after all.

 

Weird whisper:  “p r o f e s s i o n a l  l i i i i i i a a a a a r r r r r s s s s s s s”  Would you believe me if I said I am going to hurt you?

 

10.  You’re writing a book?  Tell me everything.

 

{More weird, cackling laughter}   Well, it’s about a person who condescends to writers and winds up getting   {The voices:  “shhhhhhhhhhhh”}   Well, I guess I don’t want to ruin the surprise for you by telling you the rest.  I’ll show you instead. . .  {Places arm around person’s shoulder and starts to lead him/her to the shed.}

 

Take a gander at Elizabeth’s answers too.  Maybe it will spark some great answers from some of you!!   Please share 🙂

 

 

tttthhhhwwwwwwwttttttt!

 

 

 

 

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22 Comments

  1. Reblogged this on BookRepublic and commented:
    I love this!

    • Thanks a bunch 🙂 Angie

      • You are welcome.

  2. Jenny Alexander

    All the annoying things non-writers say to us wrapped up in a tidy package – made me smile 🙂

    • Thanks Jenny — love those smiles :). Angie

  3. Zen

    Ahaha, perfect answers! That should teach them never to ask again. =P

    • {maniacal laughter} Thanks, and thanks for coming by 🙂 Angie

  4. Very funny – I needed that 🙂

    • Thanks 😀 Angie

  5. Great answers

  6. Laughing! Loved it, Angie. I may have to try a few of those twisted remarks out. 🙂 Thank you!
    God Bless You!

    • Let me know how that works out for you, unless, of course, you and the voices are laying low ;). Angie

  7. Wow, so true! I am laughing and also glad that other writers have these lines said to them too! 🙂

    • We should all be required to wear a t- shirt that says, “I say dumb things” lol. I suspect we all have our moments :). Angie

  8. Very funny accurate as well.

    • He he. I watch too much Criminal Minds.

  9. How true this is to life, Angie, and you offered smiles while we read! 🙂

    • Thank you 🙂 I’m thinking maybe I’ll take up fiction writing after all. I’m glad you got a chuckle or two 🙂

      • I’ve tried fiction, but it doesn’t come naturally, so moving on! 🙂 But, I wish you lots of luck and I hope you can make it happen!

  10. Love your answers. Don’t you wish you could simply walk out of the room instead? Tee Hee.

    • YES!!!!! or worse 🙂 But this will do for now. Thanks Tess

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