More Word Play: Euphemisms

Today, we’re going to play with words again.

eu·phe·mism

eu-phe-mism  /ˈyufəˌmɪzəm/ Show Spelled [yoo-fuh-miz-uhm]    noun

1.  the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.

2.  the expression so substituted: “To pass away” is a euphemism for “to die.”

Euphemisms often hit the funny bone.  It is a ‘nice’ way to say something without coming out and saying it.  No, we’re not going X rated here.  Has your family or friends ever sat around and thought up euphemisms for something?  Such as passing gas?  Of course, when we do this, we often make up new ones which adds to the hilarity.  But even if we stick to the tried and true.  It’s a fun game to play.  Here are some ephemisms I’ve seen/heard/found:

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Flatulance                             Fat                              Death    

“Passing gas”                           “healthy”                      pass away

Skunk on a scooter                 big                                 fought the long battle

Mouse on a motorcycle         hefty                              meet your maker

“Not me” did it.                      big-boned                      six feet under

Butt burp                                 overweight                    pushing up daisies

Silent but deadly                    well-built                       kick he bucket

Whoever smelt it dealt it      plus-sized                      put down (animal)

7.4 on the Rectum scale        pleasingly plump

Air bagel                                   rubenesque                  Unemployed

anal ahem                                                                        between jobs

backdoor breeze                     Nose                            a resting actor

backfire                                    honker

barking spiders                                                              Lying

blowing the butt bugle          Nose mucus             economical with the truth

blowing you a kiss                  bat in the cave

butt trumpet                            boogers                       Arguments

cut the cheese                                                                have words with

       a stinker                            More                           full and frank discussion

       a poot                                Internet Troll

fire a stink torpedo               Bite the dust           Perspire/glow

                                                  downsizing              visually impaired

                                                  pre-owned vehicles      wardrobe malfunction

                                                  stretching the trut        A dear john letter

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Ok, some of those are fun and some, eh.  But this is another way to play with words.  Keeping it clean, what euphemisms do you hear commonly?  Have you ever made them up?  Do you know any really funny ones?   How about those politically correct euphemisms?   Whether you just enjoy these or add a few of your own in the comments, relax and have fun with the English language.      I wonder how much having a boy around had to do with my choice of topic today????

• Posted in: Challenge ♦ Creative writing ♦ Language Play ♦ Laughter ♦ The creative mind ♦ Writing
• Tagged: Arts, Euphemism, Flatulence, Flatulence humor, Recreation, Television, Troll (Internet)